Pet Peev - misuse of preparatory count ins

For a long time now, one my secret pet peevs has been the misuse of 'count ins'.

When a group of people are about to lift a heavy object, it is customary for someone to count "one, two, three, lift" so that everyone commences lifting at the same time. The point of such a count in is for the interval between each count to be equal so that everyone can anticipate exactly when the moment to 'lift' will be. The time that passes between "one" and "two", and between "two" and "three" tells you exactly how much time to expect between "three" and "lift". That's the point of a count in.

But how I usually hear people count in is this:

"Oooooooone...........(long pause)........twoooooooooo............(longer pause).............(and then when you least expect it) THREE! LIFT IT LIFT IT LIFT IT!"

What is the point of that?

A similar phenomenon is in the counting in of singing amongst non-musical types, particularly for the singing of Happy Birthday. Some will count a rapid "one, two, three" then a few seconds will pass before a very slow "haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaapy biiiirthday to you" commences.

What's the point of that!?

In music, a count in is supposed to set the tempo. And besides, in the Happy Birthday song, the "happy" should actually start on the "three" not after it, because it's "birthday" that comes on the main beat. It should be "one two three, one two, Happy birthday to you..."

...i know i know, it's no big deal...it just annoys me. And thus concludes today's insane rant.