Where in Chadstone Shopping Center is Carmen Sandiego?

I sometimes have ideas that I wish I could send back in time to the days when I was a media major.

There's an iPhone game coming out in a week called Parallel Kingdom. It's an 'agumented reality' game. It shows you a map of wherever you are and overlays various monsters and treasures and other RPG type things for you to interact with. To navigate this world you have to walk (or drive, swim, fly) to the corresponding real world location. It uses the iphones GPS to discern your location. It's also multiplayer. Think World of Warcraft meets The Amazing Race.

I wish this kind of technology had been around back in my days of making bad student films. How cool would it be to do an interactive iPhone film where you have to walk to different locations to unlock scenes filmed at that location. You could have a murder mystery filmed at various locations around Melbourne; in each scene there'd be some clue as to where you need to go to unlock more of the story. Or maybe you could choose different paths (literally) to determine the outcome of the story -- a choose your own adventure format.

Or what about an iPhone version of Where In The World is Carmen Sandiago!? Ay!? Ay!?

If only I had the time, motivation, and talent.

My return to console games: Assassin's Creed review

It's been a long time since I've played a console game. In the late 80s I played a lot of Super Mario Bros. 3. But since then, with the exception of brief dalliances with The Sims and World of Warcraft, I've largely abandoned gaming.

"One day," I told myself, "games will be just like the Holodeck from Star Trek...I'll save my money until then."

But impatient with the lack of progress in Holodeck technology, I recently gave in and decided to see what 21st century gaming has to offer. In a moment of madness I bought an Xbox 360 and a copy of the hit new game from Ubisoft -- Assassin's Creed. Having just 'clocked' the game this week, I'd like to give you my review (warning: spoilers may follow).

First, a quick summary. In Assassin's Creed, you, the player, assume the identity of Desmond Miles, an average American, who, as chance would have it, is descended from a long line of professional assassins, dating back to 1191 AD. Desmond has just been kidnapped by a secret group of power hungry scientists, who, via the magic of science, have created a machine that can extract from his DNA the memories of his assassin ancestors; apparently Desmond's DNA contains an ancient secret that will allow them to rule the world. However, to get to this secret Desmond has to relive a series of his ancestors assassinations , and this requires being strapped into a special virtual reality bed called an 'Animus'. So, via the Animus, we're transported to The Holy Land, circa 1191 AD, to live the life of an assassin: pickpocketing, interrogating, rescuing, and assassinating.

As far as the graphics go, Assassin's Creed is uber impressive. The four cities that you visit are intricately designed and beautifully rendered. But what makes the world of Assassin's Creed particularly imersive are the interactive crowds and climbable structures. The inclusion of thousands of virtual people in the streets of Jerusalem, Acre, Damascus and Masyaf is a real innovation. This landscape of citizens for you to help, hinder, cajole, and kill adds a stimulating new dimension to game play. The climbable structures are similarly innovative: you can climb almost any surface, allowing you to scale buildings and towers, and giving you access to the rooftops for quick access around the cities. Jumping from building to building is great fun.

The combat is less impressive. The sword fighting is enjoyable at first, but you soon realise that you can defeat most opponents with mindless button mashing. It's also strange how easy it is for you -- one assassin -- to beat a group of two dozen soliders time and time again. Despite having you surrounded, AI soldiers seem quite happy for you to pick them off one by one; it's all bit easy. Moreover, the missions you must complete to get a tad repetitive. But given the acclaim Assassin's Creed has received, am I to take it that this is standard for console games?

Where the game really disappointed me was the narrative. A personal pet peev of mine is when science-fiction finds it necessary to bombard you with techno-babble and pseudo-science to convince you of the plausibility of their fantastical premise. What happened to the idea of suspension of disbelief? I would have preferred it if Desmond could just have arrived in 1191 via a wardrobe or rabbit hole or something. I certainly could have done without the crappy lecture about the magic of genetics.

The narrative within the 1191 scenes didn't do much for me either. You're forced to sit through incredibly long and wordy cut scenes again and again, with no option to skip over them. The dialogue is clichéd, melodramatic, and doesn't further the story much anyway. In particular, the game seems very unsure of itself with respect to walking to religion tightrope. If you pay attention you'll eventually work out that the bad guys are atheists, who have discovered that although the miracles described in the bible are literally true, their origin is not divine, but extraterrestrial (umm, ok!). Your 1191 character also goes on a fair bit about "letting man believe what he wants to believe", a strangely liberal attitude for a crusader. But all this religious stuff is buried in the dialog so as not to offend; instead, it's just confusing.

In summary, although promising, I think that Assassin's Creed could have been a lot better than it was. Perhaps they should take another go at it. Hire better writers and spend some time adding variety to the missions. Oh, and get rid of the cheesy sci-fi crap.